I often get the question, "How's work going?" And its crazy how such a question can bring on so many different emotions. If I were being 100% honest...work isn't going great. I don't know how to give people an idea of what my work days look like, but I'm going to try.
To start my day one of my students with Down syndrome comes and I work with him and his aide on different things. He is very fun to work with. But some days, he decides he doesn't want to work with me. He pushes me out of the classroom and tells me, "NO!" Those days my feelings get a little hurt. Or when things are going well, in the middle of our time together another aide will pop their head in to tell me another student is misbehaving and needs my help. So then I have to leave and that makes me sad to miss this time with this student. If I'm pulled away it is because a student is refusing to comply, listen, work, be quiet, etc. Sometimes the student is having a meltdown and the teachers need my help to calm the student down. Although working with these students comes naturally for me for the most part, it is still exhausting to remain calm and collective when a student is yelling, throwing things, destroying classrooms or hurting themselves. It take a lot of focus to not lose my cool and start crying with the student. So...if something like this happens at the very start of the day...I'm totally exhausted the rest of the time. It is considered a miracle day if there is not at least one type of meltdown that has happened.
My next student I work with is very tricky. He is full of energy and often becomes aggressive (physically or verbally). It is hard to get him to stay focused on a task, and sure takes up my energy!
The next couple hours I get to spend with are 2 students with severe cognitive abilities. I have a lot of fun with them, but sometimes one of them will be in a "bad mood." This "bad mood" will look like: talking back to the teacher, refusing to do work, saying mean things to others, complaining about everything and anything, etc. This student is full of sass and it can be cute at times...and not so cute for other times. This time is usually interrupted for me to go assist other students who are having a hard time. Again, I have to help these students through their meltdowns, which makes me exhausted.
My last official class is a Social Skills class. This class is full of some quirky personalities. Some days the discussion and the lessons go great. Other days its a complete mess. I never know what to expect with this group.
The last part of my day is spent with my behavior kiddos. I try to make the rounds and see how they are doing in their classes. Often times my "prep" turns into spending time with a student and making sure they don't have a meltdown.
I forgot to add that during any free time I'm working on IEP's (paperwork) and testing students for eligibility for Special Education. Lately I have no free time.
But despite all this craziness...I love these students. I get very emotional thinking about the amazing spirits these students are and how much Heavenly Father loves them. Sometimes I literally feel like I'm in battle for these kids. I'm not always the teacher other teachers want to hear from, and I sure am not winning any popularity contests...but I will fight for these kids. I want to make sure that they feel wanted and loved while at school.
So how is work going? Work is going. It is hard, but I have to believe it is worth it. The day I stop believing that is the day I stop showing up to work. I am seriously grateful for the people I do work with that make this job just a little bit easier, I couldn't do it without them! For whatever reason, this is where I'm supposed to be. It is hard for me to always see why, but I try to focus on my students and do what little I can do for them one day at a time.
