Sunday, July 25, 2010

life as i know it

So life really does throw you curve balls sometimes. I was engaged, and the whole situation feels surreal to me, but then again the pain is real so I know it did happen. However, I am hopeful. If I had lost my hope I probably wouldn't be around. I have a testimony that God has a plan for me. I am excited to see what he has in store for me. So I thought I found my Mr. Right, but God really knew better then me. Through this whole process God showed me that I can love. He showed me that even when you think life couldn't get better it does, but then it can turn around just as fast. And that is why it's important to trust in the Lord at all times. Some people say they would be bitter about this whole thing, and I realize I could very easily be bitter. But that is no way to live. I am choosing to look at the good and to look forward and keep my life going. Don't take me wrong, I have moments where this all feels very overwhelming, but I don't let those moments last very long. I have spent more time on my knees then standing these days. I pray for strength and I know God has supplied me with that.

I don't really know what the point of this post is, but I felt the need to write it. I think mostly it's for me. I know God lives. I know that Christ is by my side encouraging me to endure to the end. I know that the family unit is the most important thing on this earth. I know that this trial of mine will be short in the term of everything, and that life will move forward. I am grateful for my testimony and knowledge of the gospel. It's the only thing that is getting me through this.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

fam damily


Kyle, Me and Lisa

Baby Audrey and Monica

Denae and Andrew

Aunt Julie, Mom and Dad

I love my family. I really could not say it enough. Today was my wonderful mother's birthday. So we went out to Sushi and I took the pictures above. (as you can see these are all model worthy!) My family is so special to me. Sounds cliche, but honestly I could look around at each family member of mine and say that they are all living life to the fullest. I'll start with my mother (since it is her birthday)...she is a huge hero in my life. Anytime I need to talk to her about something she is there with open ears and open arms. She has raised 5 wonderful children. I feel her love for me daily. She is very easy to talk to and has good advice. She is so nice and friendly...I always have friends telling me how much they love my mom! Then there is my dad. Such a rock in my family. He is so solid in the gospel and really sets a good example to their kids. He is a strategist to the fullest and knows how to have a good time. My older brother Kyle is amazing. He has really helped me through a recent trial of mine, by just being supportive and willing to listen. I appreciate him so much and look up to him. My older sister Denae is the kindest person I know. She has a heart of gold and loves everyone. She is genuine and really cares about others. My younger sister Kristy is so passionate, and follows her heart. I know she has a very bright future ahead of her! My other younger sister Lisa is very sensitive to others. She knows when to give me a hug or just come into my room when I need someone there. As you can see I love them all! But I there is more to my family...Monica married my brother Kyle. I have loved having her live so close recently. She is also a very good listener and I see what a good mother she is to her kids and I hope to be as good as she one day. Andrew married Denae. He's an odd ball, but aren't we all? I love his humor, his wittiness, and his wise advice he has. I have had the oppurtunity at working at his job and seeing that side of him as well has made me love him even more.

What more could I want in life? I have these amazing people who love and support me. I know that I can do anything in life and get through anything because of them. I hope to one day have a family of my own and I hope each of my children can be good examples to one another! Family is what it's all about really.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

summers

My summers never go as I think they will...

but I love them no matter what.

I think secretly I live for summer time.

Boating, sleeping in, sunshine, warm nights, lots of family time, sliding rock, camping, hiking, motorcycle rides, pick up soccer, hanging with friends, happiness.....

the list could go on and on.

Even though I don't have any fantastic trips planned I still rather stay in summer forever!!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

music

Call me dramatic....a drama queen....or what not....but sometimes there are lyrics of songs that just describe exactly how I feel sometimes....like this one:

Starting Now by Ingrid Michealson
I want to crawl back inside my mother's womb
I want to sut out all the lights in this room
I want to start fresh, like a baby in a sink
Scrub away all these thoughts that I think of you
So life moves slowly when you're waiting for it to boil
Feel like I watch from 6 feet under the soil
Still want to hold you and kiss behind your ears
But I recount the countless tears that I lost for you
But before you finally go (before you go)
There's one thing you should know:
That I promise
Starting now I'll never know your name
Starting now I'll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world
I want to crawl back inside my bed of sin
I want to burn the sheets that smell like your skin
Instead I'll wash them just like kitchen rags with stains
Spinning away every piece that remains of you.
But before you finally go (before you go)
There's one thing you should know
That I promise:
Starting now I'll never know your name
Starting now I'll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world
It's my world, it's not ours anyone more
It's my world, its not our anyone more
Starting now I'll never know your name
Starting now I'll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world
Thank you Ingrid....I couldn't have said it any better.