The Ups and Downs of Two-Thousand and Ten

Januaray

Up: Took a semester off from school

Down: Job hunting...couple interviews...no luck!

Feburary

Up: Found a job! Started commuting with my Dad to Cali

Down: Commuting was very very tiring

March

Up: Started working at Rain

Down: Found out I was allergic to horses

April

Ups: First kiss, first boyfriend, trip to Disneyland with friends :)

Down: ???

May

Up: Moab trip :)

Down: Working two jobs at once (Rain and Raging Waters)

June

Up: Engaged

Down: Not Engaged

July

Up: Summer days--volleyball, mini soccer, late night movies, star-gazing, slidding rock

Down: Got fired for the first time

August

Up: Moved back to Provo

Down: End of Summer

September

Up: Got asked out on my first date while going to BYU

Down: Lots of stress with a new semester and working at the same time

October

Up: Bryan got married :)

Down: Nervous as heck to date again

November

Up: Weather didn't act like Winter

Down: Hilary Collins left on her mission (I miss that girl!...but it is an Up too because missions rock!)

December

Up: Christmas break and a 3.76 GPA from the semester :)

Down: Blizzards and coldness

What a year! Yes its has had its ups and downs but I'm grateful for each one of them. I have grown closer to my Savior and I've learned a lot. Here is to 2011! May it be full of just as many ups and downs!

Plan to be Surprised

We always end up watching whatever movies we get for Christmas day. It is a fun tradition, and today we watched "Dan in Real Life." It is my mom's favorite movie and my sisters got it for her. At the end Dan says, "Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised." I just loved that. Life is surprise. We can never plan it and if we do...it never turns out the way we planned it.  Here are the lyrics to the last song played in the movie...I do love these lyrics. I feel its about trying to make plans, but realizing its better to just go with the flow and seeing what life brings you, because we can never know the future...and its probably better then we could ever plan.

The moment has come to face the truth
I'm wide awake, and so are you
Do you have a clue what this is? (I don't know)
Are you everything that I miss? (I don't hope so)
We'll just have to wait and see (Wait, and see)
If things go right we're meant to be

The surface is gone, we scratched it off
We made some plans, and let them go
Do you have the slightest idea (No, I don't)
Why the world is bright with you here? (Oh, is that so?)
Stay a while and wait and see (wait, and see)
If things go right we're meant to be


Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolour dreams
Forget modern nature
This is how it´s meant to be

The time is here for being straight
It´s not too early and never too late
People say I should watch my pace (What do they know?)
"Think how you spend all your days" (They all say so)
They´ll just have to wait and see (Wait, and see)
If things go right they´ll have to agree

Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolour dreams
Forget modern nature
This is how it´s meant to be

Do you have the slightest idea (No, I don't)
Why the world is bright with you here? (Oh, is that so?)
Stay a while and wait and see (wait, and see)
If things go right we're meant to be

Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolour dreams
Forget modern nature
This is how it´s meant to be

Forget modern nature
This is how it´s meant to be

Eve of Christmas

I was overwhelmed with love and joy for my family on the Christmas Eve of 2010. My dad asked us each to prepare a favorite scripture about Christ. Both sets of my grandparents were there, my older siblings and their spouses and my younger sisters were all there. And of course my dear parents were there. It was a very spiritual hour or so as we all talked of Christ. I felt we talked more about Christ's Atonement then His birth. But that is the reason we celebrate His birth, because without His birth the Atonement would not have been possible. I'm grateful for my family and the spiritual giants they all are. I loved each scripture shared and each testimony that was shared with it. 

I could not have asked for a better Christmas Eve.

Tis the Season

I went to the Tabernacle Choir and David Archuleta Christmas concert last night. It was beautiful. I truly enjoyed every minute of it. After finals and the semester being done with I finally felt I could relax and enjoy the Holiday season, and the concert was a perfect beginning for that.

Christmas time makes me smile. I love the houses decorated with lights. I love the kid's excitement for Santa Clause. I love having family around and the laughter and memories that come from that. I love the seasonal music that just lifts my soul. And I love the time it gives me to reflect on Christ's birth and life.

I am grateful this Christmas season that reminds me time and time again what really matters in life.

Label: Friend

So I have come to a conclusion from a series of reoccurring situations in my life: Boys that I like, label me as "Friend."

Exact quotes from these boys that I have liked in my life:

"You are such a good friend"

"I don't know what I would do without a friend like you."

"You just rock."

"I can tell you are just a really good friend, and I want to be your friend."

and my favorite..."She is like a sister to me."

Yes these are all great...but let me remind you these are coming from boys that I like. Someday, somewhere, some boy will say more then that...he'll say something like, "Stacy is my best friend, and I want her to be my best friend for ETERNITY."

...until then I'll just continue being a good friend to all these boys in my life. 

Logic.

Sometimes what logically makes sense in my head...does not happen in reality. 

I find it very frustrating...but I guess that is what comes about with agency and not being able to change people. 

"I've got my own sad story..."

I was thinking of having this post in my private journal blog, but I decided other wise.

I watched this weeks Bones episode (which btw is my favorite TV series) and it made me think a lot. There was a conversation at the end of the episode and it went something like this....

Security guard, "So how did it turn out?"

Bones, "Good...but I'm sad."

Security guard, "Well better to be sad then dead, and better then being dead inside. At least you felt something."

Bones, "How do you know that?"

Security guard, "I've got my own sad story, just like everyone else."

The beauty of life is the feelings we feel inside ourselves. To be numb inside is no way to live. Recently I have found a new friend that we've both shared our "sad stories" with one another. I've learned a lot. I've learned that "sad stories" give you new perspective in life, that they make you appreciate the "good stories" that much more.

This life is not about having a sad story, but rather having a happy story. But with all happy endings there is always many sad events along the way. I'm grateful for my sad story. It has brought new joy and meaning to life for me. I know with each sad or happy story I can learn something and I know in the end I will be happy...so happy I'll want to burst with happiness! The sad stories are needed, and I'm grateful for them.

So yes I've had a couple sad stories in my life...but that doesn't mean I'm a sad person. I'm actually quite happy and excited about life. Life is just full of surprises, some good, some bad...but that is what makes life exciting and worth living. If it was predictable and full of mediocre experience...I think I'd be a bit bored.

There is always something to be happy about. Even when the "sad stories" are unfolding, my testimony of Jesus Christ is my source of happiness. I'm so grateful for His sacrifice and Atonement. Because of it I know that in the end I will have a happy ending and things will be so joyous I wont know what to do with myself. This Christmas season is a great time to be reminded of Christ's life and the beauty of His example. I hope that I can make this season as special as possible.

Don't waste your time...

My friend McKay is having adventures I only dream of....don't waste your time reading my blog...read this gem! Oh I look forward to a new post from her adventures in Asia daily. 

If only...oh if only.

Check them out...

 

I love these people more then anything in the world....

Adult

I did my first REAL adult thing last night...cause I have a REAL job that throws REAL Work Christmas Parties.

It was all fancy, and had good food...of course had the boring speeches...but overall was really fun!

I even had a date...just like an adult would.

I felt so mature...until I received this wonderful award:

"Chapstick Queen Award...because that was her nickname in middle school 2 years ago...."

I'm glad everyone I work with thinks I'm a baby...so much for being an "adult".

Grumpy.

I don't know why...well maybe I do...but lately I've been a bit...grumpy, a bit on edge, overly tired and a bit snappy....

A few lame excuses:

I really hate winter...cold, snow, wind...hate it all

Things have not gone exactly as I would like them to

School is stressing me out

I feel bogged down and tired, and when I have to work...it doesn't help

I've been having weird dreams

I hate winter

I am just wishing these next few weeks will go fast

I know, I know...attitude adjustment asap! Today was just one of those days that nothing went well...and all I wanted to do was go under my covers and hide from the world...but instead I had homework to do, work to go to and reality to face...

Sorry for my family this past holiday, I think I took it out on them. Thanksgiving was great, but felt a bit lonely. Makes me sad when I'm home, but my older siblings are not around. I missed them a lot.

Hopefully I'll survive these next 3 weeks and will be all SMILES after that.

False Alarm

It is like Utah has never seen snow before. 

The most that came from the "blizzard" was the power went out for 3 hours...But there was barely an inch on the ground of snow.

Congrats everyone who made it through the blizzard....it was a tough night.

Weather Forcast

Worst storm in 30 years is supposed to hit today from 2pm-5pm...Can't lie...I'm super excited to see such a storm!!

Bring it weather.

Sister Missionary

There she goes...there she goes to the MTC. I miss her already! But she'll rock Argentina! I can't wait for her letters, I know they will be fantastic! She is great. If you did not ever meet her...in a year and a half I will introduce you. The funniest, craziest girl I know and I love her.

Can I just tell you how excited I am?

I love her. I loved her last album. I will love this one. Here is a preview of one of her singles from the album that will be out soon!

I think 2011 will be a great year...and the main reason is a 5 letter word: ADELE

Return and Report

My Sunday was very successful.

I left church feeling very hopeful and happy!

One more full week left til Thanksgiving break....I can't wait.

Things I plan to do during the break:

• hang out with the family
• play indoor soccer with friends/family
• do a little homework (just a little...)
• eat turkey
• eat pie
• sleep in
• hang out with the family
• catch up on movies I haven't seen in theaters
• sleep in

ya...It'll be a good break.

dreams

I sometimes love my dreams...other times not. I think I love the dreams that are totally unrealistic. I hate the dreams that are realistic, and you confuse them with reality.

Last night I had a dream...I didn't like it.

I'd describe it to you...but it was sad and hopeless.

So I'm going to church for one reason today...to feel happy and hopeful.

Series of Unfortunate Events

(First sorry I didn't write yesterday Hilary...I totally spaced)

I have read all 13 books of the Series of Unfortunate Events. I loved those book. The witty humor of the writer kept me entertained.

I watched the movie last night...and even though it does not follow the book, I kinda liked it. But ya.

This blog post is not about a Series of Unfortunate Events though...its about a series of fortunate events.

I was baby sitting my nephew last night. When his parents came home I got to listen to my brother in law play the guitar. I sat there watching his fingers move and listening to the sweet sounds of the guitar and his voice and I was smiling inside. My sister is being taken care of. I could not have asked for a better person to love my sweet older sister.

Then I started to think about my brother and his wife. Oh what an amazing women my sister in law is! 3 kids under the age of 4, and she is a rock star. She is so sweet, loving and amazing mother. I am happy that my brother is taken care of. I could not have asked for a better person to love my great older brother.

They have it. They have that love that I hope to have one day. One day I'll find someone wonderful to take care of me...and we'll have a series of fortunate events together :)

I'm a tired bear.

Winter makes me tired. I am tired as it is all the time...but something about winter makes it even harder.

Maybe I was born to be a bear. I wouldn't mind hibernating til Spring comes around.

So if I disappear randomly...I probably curled up in a cave with some bears sleeping for the winter. 

For Hilary

Hilary leaves in one week for Argentina...she has issued me a dare to post something everyday til she leaves....wow...you all may get really bored of my posts this next week.

But today I actually have something to say: I can wait 5 or so years for children in my life.

Last night I went to Highland to help my sister-in-law with her kids. Right now they are all having weird sleeping patterns (4-year old is afraid of monsters, 3-year old is afraid of Indians, and the baby is teething). So she is not getting much sleep.

It wasn't hard, and I enjoy spending time with those kids...but that is as a bystander....I look at Monica and wander how she is doing it?....So I've decided to just be a helper a couple more years, then I'll consider being a mom (after I get married).

I dare you...

I don't know who really follows my blog Blog stats tell me everything. So I know who you are. I dare you, no double dog dare you....no wait....TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to leave a comment on one of my posts this week. I have a private blog and an anonymous blog...those blogs are for my enjoyment....this blog is for everyone else...and I right now I have no idea if you like what I'm saying or not...so if its lame...tell me. No one can pass up a dare...

inside my mind

I can't believe its November already. Soon it will be Summer again.

If I were living my dreams I'd go to Thailand for 2 weeks to visit McKay Orton. Too bad money stands in the way of my dreams.

I keep getting sick...and I don't like it.

The Hilary Collins leaves in 2 weeks for her mission. I'm going to miss her.

I've learned that being positive really pays off :)

how embarrassing...

That last post was actually post 98...apparently I had some saved "drafts" I never published....but I hope you enjoy The One Hundred Post...I sure enjoyed writing it. 

I had no idea...

I am a science nerd.

I love watching science experiments. I have no idea what is going on, but I love observing science! Eyring Science Center has opened my eyes to a whole new world.

It also helped that I was on a date...and we made ice cream by using liquid nitrogen.

A New Realization...

So every time it is October I feel like it should be my birthday. I never really knew why, but I think today I realized something new.

I love Fall. Absolutely love it. The change of the leaves, the cool weather, the random rain...I love it all. I remember growing up and driving to my house on both sides of the street we were surrounded by huge trees. These trees were gorgeous during Fall. I wish I could see them right now.

Utah is beautiful right now. When I walk back from campus I have one of the most beautiful views. I can see the mountains and the valley. Right now all the trees are mixed with red, orange, green and brown. The air is clear and I wish I could capture these moments, but a picture you can't feel the fresh air, and that adds a lot to it all.

If I could have concluded that my perfect weather for a year would go like this: January-April would be a spring feel: green trees, cool air and with rain storms once in a while. May-September would be summer: hot and cloudless but with an occasional lightning storm at night. October-November would be fall: leaves changing, cool air but warm by the afternoon. December I would let it be winter: snow up to your knees, cold weather, icicles and bright sunshine.

One day I'll find a place like this.

For now I'll enjoy the fall weather.

My Favorite Place Right now :)

The Magnificent Park.

Oh how I love thee.

I hope to share you with everyone I love.

You are too good to be true and should not be hidden.

Recipe for a FANTASTIC weekend

1. Crazy fun friends
2. Dinner at the Cannon Center
3. Talking about Freshman memories

4. Dance party at the Y parking lot

5. Fruit loops

6. Good music

7. Driving to Spanish Fork to find the most AMAZING park ever
8. Slurpee's from 7 Eleven

9. Sleeping in/taking naps

10. BYU football win!

11. Dinner at PF Changs--for free

12. Dance party with Kinetic X

Bryan is married. Hilary is in town. Life is good.

Russians.

For some reason....I have about 22 page views from Russia...this week??? I couldn't help but laugh, I wonder if they thought the "Inch" post was important USA stuff they could target.

rain, scarf, haircut, college and future.

The weather took a turn yesterday. Crazy rain and wind randomly during the day. I loved it. I love the rain.

I wore a scarf today. I felt it was finally time to welcome fall. So I put on my favorite scarf and got complimented from the girl at the register.

I got a haircut. Nothing no one would notice...but I notice and I love it. My hair feels healthier and my bangs complete me.

College is stressful, but I wouldn't trade where I am right now in my life for anything. I'm happy. 

I think of the future a lot. Mostly about if I'll go on a mission or not. I haven't gotten a yes or no answer, so I'm not going to loose that thought. If I do I'll put my papers in around June. So I'll at least do Winter semester.

P.S. One of the greatest people in my life is getting married to the man of her dreams...and I could not be more happy for her! Love you BRYAN ELIZABETH BROWN (soon to be McKinnon).

The Inch

Did you know there is an actual thing out there called an "Inch." Its the United States standard of measurement  of an inch and they make duplicates of the original and send it out to companies who make rules and such. When I heard this in class today I giggled a bit. And then I really laughed when I heard that after 9/11 they moved it to a secure location so it would not be a target for terrorism.

Imagine: Today on the news it has been reported that the Inch has been blown up by terrorist. Now our world is at an end, for we no longer know how big an inch is.

What a tragedy that would be.

Din Din

I like having dinner with good friends. I love talking with friends. I love friends.

I am grateful for the amazing friends in my life.

Thanks Ash Ash, Ty Ty and Kal Kal for a great night! (and little of Lys Lys)

"The Feather Always Falls Indian Quest Style"

Apparently today was "Native American Day," so naturally we white folks should celebrate it.

To do so you must have the following:

• A drum
• A didgeridoo
• Beer (aka root beer, vanilla creme soda)
• A clear night
• Colored Feathers
• Fantastic Headbands
• Face Paint
• Enjoyable people
• A killer fire
• Indian names for everyone (ie Water Jaguar, Fox Wind, Little boy who runs in corn fields...)
• A true Native American (someone with at least 1/8 of Indian Blood)
• A Tribe Name (ie Quest)
• A Tribe Motto (ie "The Feather Always Falls Indian Quest Style")
• Indian stories, jokes or songs
• A Japanese impersonator (don't ask)

Once you have all of these things then you can celebrate this wonderful Holiday correctly!

Happy Native American Day!

Secrets of Nymh (not really)...

So sometimes I feel special. The place I work at does a lot of stuff for big companies. We've done stuff for NuSkin, Sony, Google, The LDS Church...the list goes on and on.

Right now I'm helping test a site. Until sites are known to the public it is top secret stuff. So this one was this really ________ person named ___________ idea. He came up with it _______ and then he _________. And now we're testing it and I think _______ and ________. I'm excited to see it come out and see how the public likes it.

I will definitely fill you in on those blanks as soon as it is legal to!

P.S. has anyone read the book Secrets of Nymh? Use to be a favorite book of mine when I was younger.

Make-Over

I decided to make-over my blog. I think I went a little crazy...but I like it. What do you think?

I think I might give myself a make-over too...new color of hair, maybe a new hair cut...possibly a new face.

Who knows...I surprise myself these days.

Ode to Summer (the person)

Meet Summer Michelle Brooks. She is one of my BEST friends! I love her so much. Today she turns 19, and I am so darn proud of her. Sometimes I feel like we are sisters, cause we can just get together and be lazy or crazy. We've had many fun memories together. I love that Summer has really become herself around others! I've known the real Summer for a while...and I was just patiently waiting for her to bust it out in front of the whole world! She is amazingly gorgeous, has a great voice, has boys falling for her left and right, can laugh with me at embarrassing moments and makes good salads!

I love you Summer! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The Library...

Always an experience.

I should be studying, reading and writing a paper, but I'm distracted with people watching. There is a lady on the table next to me that keeps laughing randomly. I have a couple of theories: one she is watching a silent movie and finds it hilarious (she has no head phones on), two she is reading a really funny cartoon online, three she is skyping someone and they are doing a funny dance for her or four she is having a facebook conversation with someone that is just off-the-wall funny!

They say the library is the best place to study....I feel like for me....it is more distracting!

And I think it doesn't help that I have my laptop with me and I can easily get on and blog about this...way to procrastinate Stacy!

P.S. The lady is laughing so hard now and trying to keep it in she is covering her mouth and turning red and taking her glasses off cause she is crying from laughing...how can i study with this type of entertainment around me??

Journal Blog and Happiness

So I started a Journal Blog that only I can see. I have so much more to say on that one, but I'll try and keep up on this one too.

Basically an update on my life: I am happy. I honestly thought it'd take me way longer to say that again, but I realized it was up to me to be happy. I know that I couldn't have gotten through this last summer without the Atonement. It is such an amazing blessing in my life. I like being happy. Being miserable, is just plain miserable. I know God has a plan for me, and that I can never loose Faith in the future.

I have loved this semester so far. I think change has done me good.

Cheers! For being Happy!

More Stats!

I had only looked at my stats from the week... I actually have had people in the following countries look at my blog (the number is how many times):

Brazil (8)
Israel (8)
Netherlands (7)
Slovakia (7)
Costa Rica (1)
Denmark (1)

Latvia (1)

Who knew I had a following in the Netherlands!

Hello World!

Stats

Has anyone looked at their stats page on blogger? I just did. I have had someone from Canada look at my blog (I'm guessing Jeffery). But its kinda cool...I could see how many people have viewed a certain post, or even my blog today! 

It makes me feel like I'm not just blogging for only me but for the whole Northern American Continent.

So cool.

"The Person Who Lays Here Is The Last Person Who Called Us White Trash"

Yes indeed this is what I found in Ephraim, UT in a legit camper/trailer "home" in the middle of the Mountains. They had a headstone and all. I wish I had my camera so bad.

Got to love Middle of Nowhere, UT.

Answers.

I love Sundays.

I especially love fast Sundays.

Today I went in with a lot of questions on my mind. I was feeling really grateful, but still had things that were weighing me down. Within the opening hymn my answers started to flood in and didn't stop.

I am so grateful for memory. Yesterday I was wishing I did not have one, but today I could not be more grateful for one. Memories are not there for us to long and cling to the past, but are simple reminders that there is even more great things to look forward to and to progress to in this life!

I'm so grateful to be a member of this church, and that I have knowledge that I do. This life simply would not be the same without my testimony.

This semester is going to be great...I just know it.

Feels good...

I have always loved learning. That's why it came to a surprise to me that I took a semester off last winter. However it brought on an amazing/unexpected experience for me that I wont soon forget...

But I'm glad that experience is over. I'm reading to move on...and I'm ready to learn again!

Today was my first day back. I felt lighter and happier than I have over the past 2 months. I couldn't help but smile at people as I walked by. I was excited to get my notebook out and start my doodle fest on my papers again. Teachers, students...it just felt right.

I attended my new ward. First impressions are fun so here they are: awkward, fun, friendly, nervous, spiritual, smart, goofy and homey.

I know some of these will change, but I hope some of them stay the same.

Here is to learning, living and laughing! Which I plan on having a lot of all of those this year!

Meant to Be

"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, where for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."

[A Single Man]

I move back to Provo this week. I'm excited, happy, nervous, content and sad. I'm excited to meet new people. I'm happy for this new fresh change in my life. I'm nervous to meet new people. I'm content because I know it's where God wants me. I'm sad to be moving out and I wont see my nieces and nephews as often.

Lots of changes, but that is what life is all about. So I embrace the change and what ever may come I know I can handle with the Lord by my side.

"Dang it, that's a lot to handle"

Call me weird but the other night I was babysitting my nephew. I started reading him stories and the last book I read to him was "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" I surprised myself because I started to tear up at some parts. Read that book if you haven't read it lately. Here are some parts that I just loved (sorry kinda long sections...but so good):"You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.

You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done."


"Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball...
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are."

Dr. Seuss says it best.

Rainer Maria Rilke ; (Letters to a Young Poet)

"You are so young; you stand before beginnings. I would like to beg of you, dear friend, as well as I can, to have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in foreign languages. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question."

"But it is clear that we must embrace struggle. Every living thing conforms to it. Everything in nature grows and struggles in its own way, establishing its own identity, insisting on it at all costs, against all resistance. We can be sure of very little, but the need to court struggle is a surety that will not leave us. It is good to be lonely , for being alone is not easy. The fact that something is difficult must be one more reason to do it.

To love is also good, for love is difficult. For one human being to love another is perhaps the most difficult task of all, the epitome, the ultimate test. It is that striving for which all other striving is merely preparation. "

I love words. They can express such deep and meaningful insight. I go to a site often that has quotes on it. I found this one and fell in love with it.

I did it.

I went to a wedding reception today, where I didn't know anyone there...

...including my date.

P.S. I scored hard core cause this reception was catered by ColdStone.

They may look intimidating...

But they are the best friends I could've asked for this summer. They are always there for a good laugh. Ready for each and everyday! Good at smiling. They love chips and salsa, playing fun games, telling me stories and are always good listeners.

How about we freeze this moment and they stay these ages forever? I hope that they don't ever become too cool for me. I hope we all can be BFF's (Best Friends Forever).

building

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

[C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 174: book 4, chapter 9, paragraph 10]

life as i know it

So life really does throw you curve balls sometimes. I was engaged, and the whole situation feels surreal to me, but then again the pain is real so I know it did happen. However, I am hopeful. If I had lost my hope I probably wouldn't be around. I have a testimony that God has a plan for me. I am excited to see what he has in store for me. So I thought I found my Mr. Right, but God really knew better then me. Through this whole process God showed me that I can love. He showed me that even when you think life couldn't get better it does, but then it can turn around just as fast. And that is why it's important to trust in the Lord at all times. Some people say they would be bitter about this whole thing, and I realize I could very easily be bitter. But that is no way to live. I am choosing to look at the good and to look forward and keep my life going. Don't take me wrong, I have moments where this all feels very overwhelming, but I don't let those moments last very long. I have spent more time on my knees then standing these days. I pray for strength and I know God has supplied me with that.

I don't really know what the point of this post is, but I felt the need to write it. I think mostly it's for me. I know God lives. I know that Christ is by my side encouraging me to endure to the end. I know that the family unit is the most important thing on this earth. I know that this trial of mine will be short in the term of everything, and that life will move forward. I am grateful for my testimony and knowledge of the gospel. It's the only thing that is getting me through this.

fam damily

Kyle, Me and Lisa

Baby Audrey and Monica

Denae and Andrew

Aunt Julie, Mom and Dad

I love my family. I really could not say it enough. Today was my wonderful mother's birthday. So we went out to Sushi and I took the pictures above. (as you can see these are all model worthy!) My family is so special to me. Sounds cliche, but honestly I could look around at each family member of mine and say that they are all living life to the fullest. I'll start with my mother (since it is her birthday)...she is a huge hero in my life. Anytime I need to talk to her about something she is there with open ears and open arms. She has raised 5 wonderful children. I feel her love for me daily. She is very easy to talk to and has good advice. She is so nice and friendly...I always have friends telling me how much they love my mom! Then there is my dad. Such a rock in my family. He is so solid in the gospel and really sets a good example to their kids. He is a strategist to the fullest and knows how to have a good time. My older brother Kyle is amazing. He has really helped me through a recent trial of mine, by just being supportive and willing to listen. I appreciate him so much and look up to him. My older sister Denae is the kindest person I know. She has a heart of gold and loves everyone. She is genuine and really cares about others. My younger sister Kristy is so passionate, and follows her heart. I know she has a very bright future ahead of her! My other younger sister Lisa is very sensitive to others. She knows when to give me a hug or just come into my room when I need someone there. As you can see I love them all! But I there is more to my family...Monica married my brother Kyle. I have loved having her live so close recently. She is also a very good listener and I see what a good mother she is to her kids and I hope to be as good as she one day. Andrew married Denae. He's an odd ball, but aren't we all? I love his humor, his wittiness, and his wise advice he has. I have had the oppurtunity at working at his job and seeing that side of him as well has made me love him even more.

What more could I want in life? I have these amazing people who love and support me. I know that I can do anything in life and get through anything because of them. I hope to one day have a family of my own and I hope each of my children can be good examples to one another! Family is what it's all about really.

summers

My summers never go as I think they will...

but I love them no matter what.

I think secretly I live for summer time.

Boating, sleeping in, sunshine, warm nights, lots of family time, sliding rock, camping, hiking, motorcycle rides, pick up soccer, hanging with friends, happiness.....

the list could go on and on.

Even though I don't have any fantastic trips planned I still rather stay in summer forever!!

music

Call me dramatic....a drama queen....or what not....but sometimes there are lyrics of songs that just describe exactly how I feel sometimes....like this one:

Starting Now by Ingrid Michealson

I want to crawl back inside my mother's womb

I want to sut out all the lights in this room

I want to start fresh, like a baby in a sink

Scrub away all these thoughts that I think of you

So life moves slowly when you're waiting for it to boil

Feel like I watch from 6 feet under the soil

Still want to hold you and kiss behind your ears

But I recount the countless tears that I lost for you

But before you finally go (before you go)

There's one thing you should know:

That I promise

Starting now I'll never know your name

Starting now I'll never feel the same

Starting now I wish you never came into my world

I want to crawl back inside my bed of sin

I want to burn the sheets that smell like your skin

Instead I'll wash them just like kitchen rags with stains

Spinning away every piece that remains of you.

But before you finally go (before you go)

There's one thing you should know

That I promise:

Starting now I'll never know your name

Starting now I'll never feel the same

Starting now I wish you never came into my world

It's my world, it's not ours anyone more

It's my world, its not our anyone more

Starting now I'll never know your name

Starting now I'll never feel the same

Starting now I wish you never came into my world

Thank you Ingrid....I couldn't have said it any better.

WANTED

Looking for funny people. If you know funny people, or are a funny person please come/send them my way.

I promise to laugh.

My schedule has become quite flexible all of a sudden, so anytime works for me.

Please call or text me.

Thanks--

Stacy (the one recovering from a broken heart)

Someday when I stop loving you...

One foot on the bus about half past nine

I knew that you were leaving this time

I thought about laying down in its path

Thinking that you might get off for that

I remember that night we laid in bed

Naming all our kids that we hadn't had yet

One for your grandma and one for mine

Said we'd draw straws when it came time

I'll move on baby just like you

When the desert floods and the grass turns blue

When a sailing ship don't need a moon

It'll break my heart but I'll get through

Someday when I stop loving you

I bet all I had on a thing called love

I guess in the end it wasn't enough

And it's hard to watch you leave right now

I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow

Somehow

I'll move on baby just like you

When the desert floods and the grass turns blue

When a sailing ship don't need a moon

It'll break my heart but I'll get through

Someday when I stop loving you

Oh someday someday when I stop

I'll move on baby just like you

When the desert floods and the grass turns blue

When a sailing ship don't need a moon

It'll break my heart but I'll get through

Someday when I stop loving you

Someday when I stop loving you

Fly Me To the Moon (In Other Words...I Love You)

I've thought about deleting this post....but its part of my story, so I'm leaving it up. 

Once upon a time there was a girl named Stacy. She was happy but felt a bit confused as why she never got asked on dates. One day in March she finally got asked out on a date by a boy named Jeremy. At that point Jeremy and Stacy had been really good friends for almost a year. Stacy thought she could never date Jeremy...but oh how wrong she was. Starting April they began to date. They saw each other every day.

They realized they loved one another one night and planned their whole lives together.

Then on June 12, 2010 Jeremy took Stacy on a drive. They went up American Fork Canyon.

"Only You Could Love Me This Way" by Keith Urban was playing in the background, a dozen red roses, a beautiful RING and an amazing proposal...Stacy said YESS!!!

not much

I feel like I have been awful in my blogging. But basically I am working 2 jobs now and spending every free moment with Jeremy. Oh how I love him. But yes this is my life for the summer...and I am perfectly fine with it.

2 years

It been two years since George Wright died. I miss him. Check out my post about him here.

a new found blog

I have always loved seeing wedding colors and I have been kinda obsessed about them. I pretty much found a blog that was made for me.

Check it out here!

I think you will love this blog too!!

working woman

I am at work...

Something is bothering me right now....

The conference call in the other room...

IT IS SO LOUD!

Talents

I have struggled with talents all my life.

I played piano for 8 years, but never loved it.

I sewed a hobbit costume for Halloween, but realized my friends mom mostly did the sewing.

I tried to be creative like my mom and her cards, but all I am really good at is copying her ideas.

...but alas I have found my true talent in life....




...how can you not say this picture is not pure talent?

(oh and I know most of you are wandering...yes the ball did hit the person who was taking the picture)

Gone.

Just as quickly as unexpected things come....they go just as quickly.

Reality...

Dear Reality--

Its been way fun, but I need a break. I am going to California to sit on the beach and live it up in Disneyland. I know you will miss me, but please be happy for me. I am only doing this because I know its for the best of both of us. Please know I will only be away 5 days, then I will come back and face you again.

Until then,

Stacy

Tulips

I went to the Tulip Festival!

It was one of the things I wanted to do to celebrate my 20th birthday!

Even though it looks like a lot of tulips were there, these pictures are deceiving.

I was a little disappointed but I still enjoyed myself.

Mostly because I had good company :)

Chuck.

Someday I will be cool enough to dress like this everyday...

I am in love with Chuck's outfits from Pushing Daisies. And if you haven't seen Pushing Daisies, see it now! Oh how I love this show.

First...

There are a lot of "first times" happening in my life right now. I like it.

:)

Career.

Please don't take this as a joke...cause i'm really considering it. Lately I have been obsessed with the show Criminal Minds. Basically it has inspired me to look into becoming part of the FBI...specifically with the BAU (behavioral analysis unit). I think I'd be good at it. Right now I'm kinda on a career path with web designing. I have been working at Rain as a paid intern/receptionist. So far I have been testing websites and learning how to create a website. It is interesting, but I think I like working with people. I basically sit at a desk all day with a computer, which is good....but I miss interacting with people. So i figured with the FBI, I will be part of a team and together we will find the answers to different crimes. Plus a sociology degree would totally be appropriate. I'll keep you all updated if the FBI contacts me soon.

On the other hand, I think I want to be a mom. Like a legit mom. One who rocks their kids lives every day. I'd be pretty satisfied with that too.

March 17th

One month from today is my birthday.

Today was a fabulous day! I randomly got to see my friend Todd this morning (he just got home from his mission). I loved LOVED work. I went on a bike ride with Bryan. I got "drunk" for St. Patricks day with Bryan (really we just went to McDonalds and got free smoothies). And to top it off I watched Criminal Minds with Bryan as well.

Yeah for good days. I felt like I got a little taste of summer again...the weather had something to do with that too! Woot, Woot!

Dear Followers--

I am sorry for my last blog. I promise from here on out there will be no more pitty parties about me not dating. I hope that our blog relationships will remain the same. That last post was totally lame and I should probably delete it....but if I do then this post wont make any sense.

I went on a date. Hurray! Right? It was with a friend and I'm sure he didn't read this blog. But I discovered something...I AM ALLERGIC TO HORSES. Sad sad sad sad day. I love riding horses. Now I probably shouldn't because while I was riding I was attacked with allergies that then turned into a cold...so now I have a cold! Brilliant. Thats what I get for complaining about my life. Life is great, and soon I will laugh about my time of life I am in. So for now I will try to enjoy it and not ride horses ever again.

Sincerely--
Me

A date would be nice

So I feel safe writing this on my blog, since I know basically only girls read this. But I am ready to scream it out to the world. I WANT TO GET ASKED ON ONE DATE. Is that really too much to ask for? Its been 2 years. I am sick of it. I live in Provo...central dating zone...and yet I have not been asked out. I am starting to forget how it feels to get ready for a date. Or to get asked on one. Or to have a guy pay for me. Or how the awkward door step scene goes. I miss it. I really do. My brother once told me that if God wanted guys asking me out on dates he would put those guys into my life. So maybe this is all a trail of patience and I am failing miserably. Patience has always been a weak spot for me...I just hope I don't have to wait another 2 years before I get asked out on ONE date (cause that's all I'm asking for).

loosing this battle...

I am dying for warm constant weather. I want it to be summer. I miss the days of going outside and not wanting to run back inside. I miss star gazing, swimming, boating, playing outside, sliding rock and mostly the SUN. Oh I hope these next couple months go by fast and summer comes quickly!

P.S. Updates of my life: I went to Ohio to visit Kyle and Monica and their kids! It was so much fun. I want to go back! I have been commuting with my dad to California for work. It is really tiring, but I like it. However, this is temporary because I had a job interview at my brother-in-laws work. I hopefully will get that job! I will be a secretary, but I will also have the opportunity to get exposed to web development. My good friend Todd is coming back from his mission in a week! I am so excited. As you can tell I'm getting antzy for good weather! Well that is pretty much my life in a nutshell.

All Grownzzed Up

I always have had an admiration for different people. Especially those who seemed to me like they had it all figured out and were the type of people that were unique and it showed. I envied their confidence in their clothing style, personality and everything they did. I always would say, "When I grow up I want to be just like them." I have realized something that I did not realize before. We are all unique, we just show it differently. Some people show it with their clothing style, music style or what not. I have figured out that it is not important. What does matter is that as long as I am confident with who I am nothing else should matter. I still do admire those who are very unique, but I don't envy them any more. I just smile and think to myself, "Good for them." I have to say that looking back from even a couple years I have definitely changed, and it has been for the better.

I never know where these blog posts are going, but I think that's why I love blogs. It really does not matter what you write about as long as its written by you, uniquely you.

Sunday

I am very humbled today. Sometimes I get really selfish and I think I'm the only one who is struggling with this life and I get to a point where I think I know what's best for me. I get impatient and I start getting down about my situation in life. Today I had one of those "ah-ha" moments. Some girl was giving her testimony and talking about her mom who had cancer. I wanted to cry and just leave the room because I felt so selfish. All day I had been fasting for what seemed like "big problems" and I just realized how little they were. I know that my struggles are real and that they mean something to me, but sometimes I get so caught up in them I don't look around to see who may need my help. Why do I think I'm the only one who is not getting asked on dates? Or the only one who is struggling for direction in their life? I am not alone. I know my Heavenly Father loves me, but he also loves everyone around me. I hope and pray that I can be a little less selfish from this day on and try to help others feel loved. I know that today my prayers were answered. Of course they weren't answered in the way I would have liked them to have been, but I know in God's way he answered my prayer. I love this gospel. I love the joy and happiness that is in my life. I love my family and friends. I love the Savior.

I'm just trying my hardest to get a bit better at this thing called life one step at a time.

Yoga

My Nephew is a Yoga master.